The Police story annuls

[Davejb]

Ok, I thought it was about time I shared another story about life in the Police Force, only this one will make most men cringe and check before getting amorous with a lady friend or even the wife. One night I was on Car patrol with a probationer oppo. We had a call to a pretty nice area in the Town, overlooking the biggest park and cricket grounds. The call was to a very nice town house that had three floors and steps leading upto the front door. A neighbour had phoned to say that she had heard screaming from the house next to her. We arrived and walked up the steps. The front door was the type that had frosted glass inbetween the wooden dividers, and at the side a larger section of frosted glass and below that a letter box. We banged on the door and got no reply, but peering through the frosted glass I could make out a figure sitting on the stairs, I could,nt see through the letter box as it had a box on the inside. I shouted to try and get some response, but the person would,nt move. I could just about hear crying. I left my oppo at the front and walked around to the back gardens and climbed over the rear fence and went to the back door, it was open so I went inside with my truncheon drawn, I opened the kitchen door that led to the front hallway, and started up the hallway slowly. Well the sight that I came upon was like something out of a horror film. At the bottom of the stairs, there was a man lying on the floor completely naked and he was lying in a pool of blood, and I mean blood, is was like he was swimming in it. He looked dead to me, but I saw he was still breathing but was out like a light. I turned around the bannister and there was a very pretty woman stark naked, sitting on the stairs. Her legs were covered in blood and she was obviously in shock but crying. I let my oppo in and told him to radio for an ambulance, supervisory officer and CID as I did,nt know what we were dealing with at that time and I could,nt get any sense out of the woman. meanwhile the guy on the floor was still losing blood, I did,nt want to turn him over as I did,nt want to disturb any wound that he had ,which could have got even worse. I could,nt see any injury on the woman. After about 10 minutes I had the ambulance , and CID there and the ambulance crew dealt with the guy on the floor. the woman was still out of it, and CID thought it was a suspected assault or even an attempt murder. Both of them were taken to hospital and I followed on to take as many details as I could along with my mate on CID. We were there for about a couple of hours until a Doctor came out , he was actually smiling which confused the both of us, He sat down with us and told us what had happened. Apparently, this young couple had had a bit to drink and got pretty hot under the collar, and shed their clothes in the living room and were getting it on and could,nt wait to get up to the bedroom, so they decided to have a bit of nookie ON THE STAIRS(Now brace yourselves lads), as the guy was starting to do the old in out, he screamed and pulled out quickly and started spurting blood everywhere. The Doctor went on to explain that a very thick pubic hair of this woman had got caught across her entrance, and as the guy entered, the pubic hair literally acted as a cheesewire and sliced through his main vein under his old John Thomas, resulting in a great deal of blood loss in a short time, in fact he was pretty lucky that I did,nt move him, as lying face down on the floor helped to stem the blood up to a point. The doctor said that he had to stitch this guys old man up and he was now being given blood. He said that he had found this womans pubic hair, still intact  and had cut it with a pair of scissors, he said that for some reason this woman had exceptionally thick and strong hair down below which can happen in some people, even men. By this time I had crossed my legs half a dozen times. When I went home that night I told the wife and to be honest I had to check for myself just in case, much to my wifes amusement, but I,m pretty sure that was the night my youngest son was conceived. So the moral of this story is, ALWAYS take a pair of scissors with you to bed just in case!!!!!!!!!!!, or learn how to prune a hedge!!!!

[DAK D]

Hi @Davejb,

Enter at your own risk, If it ain't a Hollywood or a Landing strip beware

D

[Davejb]

It seems I have put people off reading about this little episode, or perhaps their legs are still crossed

[Mav352]

A cut above(or should that be below) your normal stories @Davejb.