The police annuls --continued

[Davejb]

Its been a while, since I last posted about the funny times in the Police, so heres one that I hope you will find as funny as I did. One evening My mate and I got called to a very nice house opposite a park. The report was a ferocious animal in the house. At this time I was just coming out of my probation period and the copper I was with was my tutor so he did a lot of the talking. A woman met us outside the front door and she was in a bit of a state, saying that there was some sort of wild animal in one of her food cupboards. Now to give you some idea of the layout of the ground floor, as you walked into the front hallway there was a long corridor that led to the kitchen, the door to the kitchen was one of those folding plastic types with a small magnetic lock, The kitchen itself was pretty large with a full set of about 7-8 cupboards which all led into the next  one. This "wild" animal was supposed to be in one of these . The woman warned us that whatever it was was very vicious. and she said that it had gone for her face when she opened a cupboard door.My mate asked her if she had a large cardboard box, she went  away and came back with one. Now I thought this was to put this "thing" in when we captured it. but my mate pulled out a pen knife and made two eye holes in the box and placed it on his head!!!, well the woman and I were a bit confused but he said it would stop him being injured, which in a way made some sense. So he had me guide him into kitchen, and we were both wearing gloves and had our truncheons out, I was standing firmly behind him all the way. He opened a few cupboards but nothing was there, then on opening another one there was a crash of tins and bottles and this "Thing" came flying out. Well that was it, I was off, I ran out of the kitchen but in a panic I closed the folding door behind me, I grabbed the woman who was now screaming and pushed her into the living room doorway. There was this almighty crashing about coming from the kitchen and shouting from my mate, then all of a sudden the plastic door burst open, flew off its runners and he came out shouting and bashing into the walls, He was screaming "Its up my leg, its after my todger" well the front door had been left open and he came running along the hallway still shouting "Its after my todger ,its got my todger "The only problem was, that now the box on his head had turned so there were no eyeholes to be seen he flew blind through the front door, fell down the front steps and ended up on his back on the ground, and to me looked as if he was out cold. I carefully walked towards him with my stick at the ready, I watched as something was crawling down his leg from the inside towards his boot, I raised my stick and saw a young boy standing in the next garden watching , This "thing" kept coming and then a nose and a head peaked out , I was just about to hit it when this boy shouted "Dont thats my ferret, I lost him", this little bugger came over ,grabbed the ferret and walked away. All the time my mate was still motionless on the floor. I leaned over and started to turn the box around until the eyeholes were at the front. I looked through them and my mate was looking straight at me. I did,nt say anything, I was too busy trying not to laugh. eventually I said "you ok" he said, "Next time , you,re going in first, now get me back to the nick, because I,ve just pissed myself" At that i fell on the floor in a fit of laughter and the woman nearly joined me. When we got back and he,d checked his bits out there were scratches all around his old man and up his leg, He had to go have a Tetanus shot, and I had to take him and told the nurses what happened, they were all in fits of laughter, but the funniest bit was the report had to go up to Division and everyone who saw him up there , including the Chief Superintendent, laughed and had to walk away. The report also went to HQ and some "joker" had typed "Police Officers manhood assaulted by ferocious Ferret" He never lived it down.

[Mav352]

Well that's cheered me up a little @Davejb.