To catch a Guanaco

[Davejb]

Another story involving the "Broxbourne Zoo", we had a call to go help with the recapture of a Guanaco, which is very similar to a Llama. Its a pretty strong animal, and quite big and very fast when in a run. There were keepers out, Zoo volunteers, local residents and us . I was driving my Chief Inspector so he could assess what traffic control was needed up in the woods. We heard over the radio that some people had seen it down one of the small lanes, so we headed there. As we drove into this lane we were confronted with this "thing" running straight towards us, I put the car across the road so as to block its path and it turned back to where it had come, but there were people walking down the lane in a line with nets. It was trapped ,or so we thought. It stopped half way between all of us and just stared. By now I was out of the car trying to keep it away and making it go towards the nets. It was about 50yrds away, when this beast looked at me and decided to gallop towards me. Now dont ask me why but I thought that it would be a good idea to leap at this animal as it tried to pass me. It was a bad idea, I grabbed it around the neck and thought it would slow down or stop, did it bugger, it just kept going, i managed to get one leg onto its back, the other was under its belly. My head was just below its neck, I was like a fallen rodeo rider, clinging on for dear life. What I did,nt know was that these things are related to camels and they spit, this one gobbed straight in my face and I went to wipe this stinky slime off me , forgetting that we were now travelling at a fair old pace, with a flick of its head it threw me up in the air and I found myself sailing over its back and heading straight towards a water filled ditch. I landed head first in the ditch right beside the Police car and this beast leapt over the bonnet and disappeared into a field . I thought great , the C/Inspector wont be too pleased with me getting soaked. As I stood up I looked and saw the C/Inspector on bis back rolling on the floor laughing so hard he had to take his tie off and open his shirt. I stood there dripping away and every time he looked at me he burst into more fits of laughter. To make matters worse was that by now the other people had arrived and they were laughing their heads of as well. All the way back to the nick he was doubled up holding his sides, tears rolling down his face, and each time he looked at me it made it worse. We went inside and he walked up the stairs to his office still laughing out loud, and for the rest of my shift all you could hear was the occassional laughter from his office. The bugger even phoned his wife and told her and he had it on load speaker so you could hear both of them roaring with laughter. My embarassment did,nt end there.I did,nt know that one of the people in the lane was video taping the "capture" for the Zoo and had caught everything on tape. Some months later we had a police ball at the community centre. I was sitting there with the wife and my group buddies and their wives when this bloody film was played on a full screen ,used for the cinema. 300 odd coppers and guests saw me rodeo side riding this animal, and the laughter started all over again. I went to the bar to get a drink and even the bloody bar staff were watching it and could,nt serve for laughing so much. They played that bleeding tape three times that night and my missus was one of the hardest laughers !!!!!!!!!. By the way the beast did get caught, by FOUR BOY SCOUTS with a net the next day, insult to injury!!!!!!!

[DAK D]

Hi @Davejb

Now that is a very funny story

D

[HetzersGonnaHetz]

That tape needs to get on YouTube!

[Davejb]

If it ever did I,d resign and emigrate!!!!!!!!!!